Thursday, June 23, 2011

From the exciting world of the unemployed

As you've noticed, I haven't written since February. I'd love to say that it's because I've been so terrifically busy at work that I just haven't had the time. Well I was terrifically busy at work from February to April. Then I got fired. Unfairly, I might add, but that's all water under the bridge. Am I still bitter? Sure. I legitimately feel like I got screwed. But I've moved on and am back on the prowl for something new. I'm volunteering at a local daycare until I can find someone willing to pay me for my services. It's the daycare I attended when I was little, oddly enough. That allows to me to keep something that resembles a schedule and it gets me out of the damn house. Plus, I get to work with kids again!

In other news, I've successfully made a beautiful paella for the first time since culinary school (which I've completed, by the way). I had my first experience at a gulf coast fish market- surprisingly less smelly than I anticipated. I've done a decent amount of traveling already this summer and am making good progress on my little black book*. I'm sure there are a lot of other things that have happened between February 3rd and now, but I sat down with the intention to write something. So, naturally, all of the things that I intended to write about flew out of my brain like buttered popcorn JellyBellies fly out of a car window.

*My little black book is what will eventually, some day, by the grace of God and a publisher, become my first cookbook.

Ah! I suppose there is one thing I can write/vent about. I mentioned on my Facebook page recently that I don't like the show "Chopped" on the Food Network. Actually, the original post had little to do with "Chopped". It's funny how the main point was barely noticed because many started jumping to the defense of "Chopped". Here-

"Just heard a guy on 'The Next Food Network Star' say that his head band redistributes his mojo through his epidermis. I hate this show more than 'Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade' and 'Chopped' COMBINED. I haven't seen more than 5 minutes of this entire season and I've already thrown things."

I'm sorry Sandra. It's not you, it's...okay yes. It's you. And Ted Allen, it is definitely not you. It's the idiots that participate in that show. I'm now going to add a disclaimer so that you all don't end up thinking I'm a complete bonehead who only hates the show because I "don't get it".

Disclaimer: No, really. I get it. The contestants are in a strange kitchen working next to strangers that they have to out do. They are also working right in front of the people who will decide their fate. They have cameras in their faces. They have time limits for each course. They are working with completely random ingredients that are a literal mystery to them until they open those stupid baskets. It's a lot of pressure and I don't know that I, myself, would be successful at that sorta thing. And yes, I've seen the challenges where the celebrity chefs and judges compete. Even they struggled and admitted how hard it was. But they still didn't make the mistakes that I consistently see from the general pool of contestants.

With that said and out of the way...I STILL REALLY HATE THAT SHOW! Way too often I see episodes with chefs that haven't worked with the simplest ingredients, like grits. Really?! Never even tasted grits? Okay, fine. But when in doubt, read the package directions. Other people do it all the time. There's no shame in that! I'm not a big fan (truth be told it bothers me more than it should) of the smack talk and the phrases that basically amount to, "I'm such an amazing chef, no one can touch me. And my poo doesn't stink, either!" The rookie mistakes are inexcusable. If you don't have time to devein shrimp, you might want to reevaluate your dish. Please! I also feel that there are entirely too many episodes where people cut themselves. And out of those episodes, there are entirely too many people who don't even bother to put a glove on! That kinda thing literally makes me gag. Finally, the excuse of "I'm not a pastry chef" that passes through a contestant's lips when their dessert has utterly failed, is a cop out of gargantuan proportions and I don't want to hear it any more.

I'm so glad that people like it. If you can put up with all of that and find that it still has entertainment value, more power to you! But those reasons I stated above (and many more) are why I get angry and yell at the television and irrationally throw things when it comes on. I don't know if they fear for my health or their safety, but at the request of my family, I've stopped watching.